Looking for a change of pace from the standard horse head mask? Want to really stand out in the crowd? The zebra head mask is the mask for you. Sure some people may think they’re cool rocking the horse head, but you’ll be wearing a zebra head mask. Their argument is invalid. This zebra head mask comes in one size that fits most adult males(unless you’re a freak…then you should definitely be wearing this mask). This mask features a zebra head with great detail in the eyes, nose and other facial features. It has two eyeholes so that you can see out of it and it comes with a tremendous amount of swagger.
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I cannot say that I became a zebra when wearing this mask, because I cannot remember what it was like to wear this. All I remember is putting it on at 8:07 in my bedroom and taking it off at 11:48 in a warehouse full of satisfied women and whistling, clattering boilers, all operating at levels of extreme pressure. I look forward to wearing this once a week, and so do the women and boilers of my county.
Only a bleak existence marred with unhappiness. Now everything is golden horse feed and glorious sunshine. I run like the wind and leave behind only droppings. Everything I could have ever wanted in life is fulfilled by this zebra mask, I only never knew it until it was upon my head like some fantastical magical portal. If you do not own this, you may not know what it truly means to live.
The biggest question I get asked is, “Why do you have that?” I simply reply, “Why don’t you have one” and then gallop away and eat some grass.