Manchester—Citing their dickish, snobbish attitudes and prissy, hip little wardrobes(which includes constant horse head mask wearing), a devastating new report comes in from Bennett Building sources found Monday that the guys who work on the fourth floor are a group of pompous pricks. “Taking partly into account how these dicks always bragging to each other about some new customer they just signed or some project or something and acting all cool, high and mighty, it is our determination that [the people on the fourth floor] are pretty much all douchebags,” the report read in part. “These horse mask wearing assholes don’t even try to look at you when you walk into the damn elevator, and they don’t laugh or even politely chuckle at your jokes, either. It’s like, ooh, sorry, people on the fourth floor, I guess we’re not all awesome and cool like you with your stupid horse heads. Dicks.” The report also mentioned there was that one woman that worked there who looks kind of like Sarah Jessica Parker who may have smiled once, so she might be cool with us, but the rest of those assholes can go to hell.
May 26, 2012